Weekly Update 20/9/2013

Good morrow our pitiful yet obedient followers, we're updating one day earlier this week as we figured we shouldn't be bothered entertaining you during the weekends, we need a break from being fabulous too you know. Just ask any of the Kardashians, the family that inspired us to get famous by doing absolutely nothing.

In fact i've already decided to name my child be it boy or girl 72.0000° N, 40.0000° W, the coordinates of Greenland in honour of my heroine Kim's daughter, North.

Kim "Compass Mom" Kardashian

Putting the future aside, during one of our voyages downtown, we were intrigued by what all the common folks were doing. After consulting bodyguard #674, we understood the concept of a "job" or "working". Turns out people do things for other people and in return, gets a pathetic sum of money not even enough for us to clean Z. Hensun's ass for 2 days, he shits a lot.

Roax then suggested a mischievous idea that we get a "job" just to "know how it feels like", i was skeptical but went ahead with it. I landed myself a job as a "supermarket checkout cashier", it would take some kind of wizard to know what that is. I had to stand behind a machine that contains a measly sum of money for 8 hours and scan products brought forward by various people before collecting money from them in exchange for the products. It was all going well until a primitive commoner came forward, he was purchasing a 12 pack toilet paper that wasn't even encrusted with sapphires. In fact, they cost only 2.95, not even enough to buy 1 slave for our spice garden, so it was in my instinct to insult his mother since he was undervaluing his defecating mechanism with cheap toilet paper and i also punched him 6-7 times in the crotch. What happened next was outrageous, the security guards were coming after me and i had to send in my private army from Russia to bombard the area, to make sure nobody else gets their hands on cheap toilet papers again.

Where is humanity heading, when a famous celebrity can't insult and assault a pathetic lowlife who does not appreciate what his buttocks do for him? The future looks bleak.

Pray for humanity.

Ending on a more positive note, Roax is officially a record breaker. During his short tenure as something called a "CEO" of a company named after a fruit, he bankrupted it in a record time of 42 minutes and 24 seconds. When asked to share his secret, he revealed that he spent all the company's money investing in pies of various flavours, raspberry pies, chicken pot pies and apple pies just to name a few.