Vacancies

Attention jobless hobos out there, Roax recently returned from a missionary trip to Baconland, the non-fabricated nation east of Tahiti. Needless to say, he gained 30 pounds in 5 days and broke most of our chairs. One of them was the one once sat on by Abraham Lincoln while trimming his toenails we got from an auction.

Abe Lincoln buying Tootsie Rolls at Walmart.

As members of high society, we are offering jobs for the people as it is our duty to improve the nation. We are offering you the chance to earn a living as a chair. All you have to do during work hours which is from 11 a.m-1:30 a.m. is to support your body weight with all four limbs and not move an inch at a specific place.

This could be your ideal career.

Benefit

Instead of sleeping on a park bench every night, why not get your daily dose of zzz's on the Yule Marble floor tiles imported from Colorado at our summer beach house? It's not much more comfortable, in fact it might even be tougher to sleep on but if you're gonna sleep on spine breaking materials you might as well sleep on one that makes you look cool. And we offer bacon and lots of money.

Yule Marble. Costs more than you and your family combined.

Work your way up the Seat Career Ladder. Start off as a shoe polishing stool, if you stay still enough, get promoted to a dining chair and eventually to our sofa or recliner. Training camps will be held every 2 months to enhance your skill and dedication as a modern day chair person.

Interview is to be held tomorrow (29/9/2013) at our summer beach house. The only qualification is that you still have a functioning spine. 

Roax and Rolex's summer beach house address:

 8765, Hot Volcano Rd,
Fiery Heat Boulevard, 

Crater 87,

Mars.